Saturday, December 15, 2007

Note to Pammy:

Are you sure you weren't requested to wear a black skirt and bring some hoe's?

Beep Liz, you can blame "vibrating pocket pussy" on Lane Beep

Friday, December 14, 2007

Note to people who were formerly in my house:

Is there a way for me to record the browsing history on my computer? Because the shit you guys were visiting last week is priceless.

Beep especially since I had to Google "Vineyard Christian Fellowship" Sunday night beep!
Note to Franklin:

I'm going to have to give you a length of rope and ask you to elaborate.

Beep beep
Note to all Rochesterians (Rochesterites? Rochesters?):

I think the entire city should feel shame for this gentleman.

(courtesy of the fine folks at

Beep A retired WNBA player's jersey, dude? Really? Beep
Note to Dorthworth Comrades:

No wonder my team missed the playoffs, there was nary a 'roid amongst the bunch. You guys can ride your ethics high horses all the way to the bottom of the rankings next year, but I say pass the Winstrol.

Beep Gary Sheffield really is the bane of my existence nowadays Beep
Note to all:

Yes, I am back looking at Craigslist ads.

Currently, I would place myself between Panels 2 and 3.

Beep Beep.
Note to all:

Check out this FJM write-up.

I kind of want to go on a rant about being a libertarian right now, but instead I'll just say that I find it very difficult to have respect for anyone who writes a book or an article or a treatise on "purity." They always seem to have skeletons in the closet along the lines of "do as I say and try not to pay attention while I am nailing my wife's best friend." Or in this case "while Roger injects horse steroids into my ass."

Beep If you are sure that all of us godless northeastern liberals are going to hell, why can't you just shut up about it and wait to gloat until we get there Beep
Note to Capones:

Will you go to Pam's concert if I am there?

Beep Will that line keep working if I use it every week? Who wants to write me some new material? Beep.
Note to WD:

The actual video is a little disappointing. Once I got over the feeling that having a blog related to everything Monroe County firefighters do is a little weird, I wondered what happened to the rest of the footage.

Beep Beep.
Note to Pam (and others who didn't quite follow the narrative):

That's Brian's friggin former apartment in Rochester. ON FIRE! Like, while he still lived there and stuff.

B33p Where's the naked guy or the Somali refugees Beep

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Note to YouTube people:

What am I missing?

Also, SNOW DAY!!

Beep Beep
Note to Brian:

Holy crap!

Beep beep.
Note to all:

I've heard that one can find everything on youtube, but I didn't believe it until now:

Copy and paste so we don't end up as the referrer, but it'll be worth it, I promise.

Beep Beep.
Note to PPF:

"Hose" are those wretchedly uncomfortable things that my in-laws insist on buying me for Christmas every year that I promptly either throw out, or donate to some needy, hose-less person, because I hate them with every fiber of my being (seriously, do I look like a girl would would wear "hose"?) Although I did recently purchase a rather cute pair of printed "stockings" which are decidedly different than "hose"...but I digress... I think you should let them know exactly where they can put their "hose". I think your best bet is a nice "skort" or "culottes" which would have everyone fooled...What about a mini-skirt with leggings? I hear that is quite fashionable amongst the kids nowadays.

Also, I am trying to convince Cory we should come to your concert. I don't know if my efforts are going to be successful, but I am trying.

Beep Chuck Norris eats "hose" for breakfast beep.
Note to voters:

John Edwards probably has the best stance on education, because he's decidedly anti-NCLB...

"You don't make a hog fatter by weighing it."

Beep not that I support John Edwards in much else Beep
Note to Pam:

Wear whatever you want. Just tell them that it's not the 1970s and Boston isn't a recently co-ed-ified institution where female singers must wear proper attire in order to prove their worth. If they look at you funny, just tell them to "Suck It" and go to your spot in the "U." I mean seriously, who wears black "hose" unless it's a corporate holiday party?

Beep Chuck Norris would tell them to Suck It Beep
Note to KQ:

One of my favorite Critter moments was when FCster, PPF, myself and Critter were attending a sporting event at Fenway. Upon returning from the ladies room, I informed PPF that "Critter had gone to buy beer." She replied "Thats Critter!?" with what appeared to be a mixture of both shock and awe, perhaps thinking of the many stories WD had related to her of their time as sketchy frat boys in a otherwise dull one stop light town in central NY, while at the same time trying to reconcile this with the first impression she had a of a somewhat innocuous fellow who had introduced himself with his relatively boring real name.

Beep Moral? MD-PhD at fancy Boston establishment of higher learning. Unsure how he is at paddle tennis. Beep.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Note to other women:

Am I being unreasonable? I'm am extremely irritated because I just got an email from my a cappella group saying attire for women at our concert tomorrow is black *skirts* and "hose."

I get extremely agitated and feministic when people tell me I *HAVE* to wear a skirt. Especially in WINTER. And WTF is "hose?"


Beep Beep
Note to Sky and Liz:

How could anyone resist joining a classy tennis club that would have a member named Critter? My membership application is in the mail.

Beep Now that's high society.beep.
Note to Liz and Sky:

Amusingly enough, Critter is a member at said Boston Tennis and Racquet Club.

B33p that's all i've got B33p

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Note to all:

Can you guess what Chuck Norris' favorite game is?


Musket tag.

Beep I've heard he plays a mean paddle too beep
Note to Janel:

My mistake. I'd vote for Walker, Texas Ranger, too - after all, his election would render the evolution vs. intelligent design in schools discussion moot, as there is only a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Beep All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster! beep!
Note to FCster:

Why, look at where some jeu de paume courts are conveniently located!

Beep Ah, but what will we call you when you leave Rochester? beep!
Note to FCster: may be the greatest MLB trade rumor site in the history of the known universe, but anyone that cites Mr. Bob Matthews of the "Times Union Democrat and Chronicle" as a source of a rumor is basically dead to me.

Beep Beep.
Note to Bills fans:

My favorite safrmetrics site has the Bills with a 19% chance of making the playoffs. This week is pretty much a must-win, however.

Beep Chuck Norris doesn't jump the shark. He jumps bears. Beep
Note to LizMc:

Don't worry, I would not vote for Huckabee...and if he was elected, I would become a Canadian.

I was referring to Chuck Norris. He may be the only thing that can save this country.

And you can always live in a tent in my backyard...just look out for the bear.

Beep I mean, his chin is another fist for god's sake! That's badass! beep.
Note to Janel:

The day Mike Huckabee becomes President is the day I go underground - total radio silence. Gone black. Disappeared.

Beep Please remember to send food, I'll be in a tent in your backyard beep!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Note to all registered voters:

He's got my vote.

Beep hell yeah beep.
Note to Doug:

She is definitely trying to grab your ass.
Well done.

Beep beep.
Note to All:

Here's a shot from the party I was at on Friday night, featuring my Devil's Rejects co-captain Ro. Unlike the classier prom-style pics from earlier in the night, in this one you'll notice that I have Doug DrunkEye going on and Ro seems to be gleefully attempting to break my neck. This shot was taken around 920pm, approximately one hour before my brown-out began. Yes, I know that this is still not a good excuse for having missed Liz's party -- I just wanted to share.

Beep I am sooooo classy Beep
Note to Capone:


Beep did your sweater win? Beep
Note to Good Time Emporium, Tm attendees:

Any of you know anything about anyone putting headphones in my purse, for "safekeeping"?

Beep this is never going to get old beep

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Note to Extra Awesome Fun Emporium bumper car drivers:

My neck hurts.

Beep next time, def. musket tag, and I won't wear heels. beep.
Note to all:

Extra Awesome Fun Emporium? Check.

Beep musket tag next time Beep
Note to 49% of the population:

We now have a genetic excuse for leaving the toilet seat up.

Beep Beep