Saturday, July 08, 2006

Note to blind asshole that somehow overpowered the ref and donned his kit for tonight's match:

As was discussed earlier in the week, often the best team loses in soccer; I am OK with that. Sure, it is more difficult when the good guys hit iron four times and had several other wide open chances that they totally missed on, but if these guys could put in the in the back of the net on a consistent basis, they wouldn't be in USL 1st division. However, I don't think it is too much to ask that you should blow your goddamn whistle even if your pansy-ass linesman doesn't raise his pretty little flag when the bad guy is five fucking yards offside. Try watching the match next time.

Beep MFing Beep.
Note to Millerstock 2k6 participants:

Does anyone have a photo of the completed Beirut tournament draw? Kate's is pretty good, but missing a few matches. Why do I need this? To complete the rankings spreadsheet, naturally.

Beep Mmm, wine Beep.
Note to Doug:

Yes.

Beep Dontcha? Dontcha? Beep.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Note to WD:

Hahahahaha. Sweet,

Beep beep
Note to Extraneous Family Members:

This is not the blog you're looking for. We may go about our business. Move along.

Beep B33p
Note to crappy Rochester film critic Jack Garner:

Avast! There is a clear "Best pirate movie ever," and it does not star Johnny Depp or Errol Flynn.

Beep Beep.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Note to Liz's boss:

Freedom isn't free. And neither is Liz.

Beep Beep
Note to Liz:

Your boss actually said "what does that mean to me?" when you told him it was your BIRTHDAY??

Your boss sounds like a total no-talent ass clown, even if his last name isn't Ausmus.

By the way, New York kiddies, who wants to go to PS1 for boozing and dancing in the sun on Saturday? Hmmmm?


Beep Liz I'm sorry that I can't make it to your birthday thing on Sunday I totally suck big, hairy, Ausmus balls Beep

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Note to all:

Fragile. That must be Italian.

Beep beep!
Note to my boss:

No, I am not free this weekend to take the tax auditors out to a show with you. Even if the show is free. I am not. It was 6:00. I had just eaten my first bite of solid food all day. Was that because I was hungover? Maybe. But it's also because I'd been running around all day doing stupid shite for you so this audit could happen tomorrow. And when you asked me if I was free this weekend, and I told you it was my birthday, you blinked and asked, "What does that mean to me?" It means I am not free. And even if I was, it is now 7:45 and I am in no way close to being able to go home from the office. We had a four day weekend and I was in the office on two of those days.

You know what that means? I am not free.

Beep but I will go with you all to Bobby Van's Steakhouse for lunch tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will be free. beep
Note to Hell:

No, you're not freezing over; I still know nothing about baseball and prefer to keep it that way. I just saw the name "Brad Ausmus" on Sportscenter some early morning and, feeling jaded for being awake too early and for having to watch baseball highlights, came to the conclusion that he's a no-talent ass-clown. Table 10 rules, bitches.

Beep beep
Note to Table 10:

As relayed from Erin, Janel recently called up the DJ from her wedding as part of the whole thank-you process. The DJ said she had a great time and then asked how Table 10 was doing. She loved us.

Beep beep.
Note to Major League Baseball:

If Dr. Nick (a.k.a., Matty Y.) knows that Brad Ausmus is undeserving of an NL roster spot, it's a good bet we all do.

Beep Who Taught Matty Y how to read baseball statistics Beep

Monday, July 03, 2006

Note to Major League Baseball:

Brad Ausmus is a no-talent ass-clown.

Beep beep